Waiting

Winter.

Waiting.

Things are beginning to stir, though I still don't know what they are. Waiting in uncertainty is such a difficult skill. I hate not knowing what comes next. I want to rush forward to some kind of resolution. What's my path in life? What's the answer to the puzzle posed by all the bits and pieces of seemingly unrelated events, people, feelings, information?

It's an active waiting, for me, not a passive one. I'm trying to refine my skill at the art of active receptivity, which has been my way of being-in-the-world for some years now. It's a matter of waiting while watching for the next hint to appear, the next door to open, the next part of the path to become visible among the weeds. It's a balance. Too hasty, and I risk getting sidetracked; too slow, and an opportunity may be missed.

And all the time, of course, I don't know exactly what it is that I'm looking for. I hate it, but I have to trust that I'll know the right moment to act when that moment arrives, and the right moment to remain still, watching and waiting.

Why couldn't this be easier? Sigh....