'Twas the night before Christmas....

I don't know where this year has gone. One week left of 2008. The thought fills me with huge regret -- so many things I had planned to do this year! -- and also excitement at the prospect of being able to re-design my life, now that my eight years in Dissertation Hell are complete.

Christmas, for me, is more than either a religious holiday or a secular buying spree. Like Thanksgiving, it's a time to pause in gratitude for the moments of grace I've been granted throughout the year, and to be aware of my gratitude for this life in all its Divine moments. That's something I'm conscious of far too seldom.

Life is one "perfect moment" after another, if only I can be present and conscious. This Christmas, my gift to myself and to those whose lives touch mine is a commitment to be present to each moment. I will try to be more a witness and less a critic. I will try to be grateful for each opportunity that presents itself, and to be more loving and compassionate toward myself and others.

Most of all, beginning this moment right now, I will try to be aware, at all times, of the voice of the Divine as it whispers in my ear. This life is about more than my ego, after all, though that's certainly important. But if all I listen to is my ego and its myriad desires, then I will surely miss out on the Higher Purpose of my life.

Well, that's what I'm aiming for. But right this moment, there's breakfast to be made, cats to be fed, chores to be done. Perfect moments....

Merry Christmas, everyone!

At Last!!!

Wow--it's real! The spiral-bound copies of the dissertation are here; the hard-bound copy will arrive after the first of the year.

The boxes were on my porch Friday as I was walking out the door on my way to a dance. At first I didn't know what they were, and nearly left them in the foyer, unopened. But I happened to notice the return address. What a strange and wonderful feeling to hold the final product in my hands!

I took one with me to the dance to show it to friends. As I stepped off the porch, the full moon greeted me. It felt like a benediction.

Nine weeks and growing

There's been so little time even to think about anything else. Gone are my days of sitting and stitching quietly. But at least Little Bear and Miss Ellie are starting to play just a bit, though mostly she plays "whack-a-mole" at his expense.

I titled this photo "So THIS is where they all went!" My partner tries to keep his toys picked up, but he found them. Now one of his favorite games is taking them from the basket, one at a time, and dropping them onto the floor.

Sigh.

Little Bear

We rescued this little guy on Monday night. It took me an hour and a half in the cold and drizzle to coax him out from under the HVAC unit at a local community center and into a borrowed cat carrier. No telling how long he'd been out there, but a significant portion of his little life--he's less than eight weeks old, our vet says.

I think I'm in love....

Writing? Did someone mention writing?

The Golden Morning

Each year, ginkgos drop all their leaves at once in a thick, golden blanket that’s so brilliantly yellow it takes your breath away, even on a cold and overcast November day like this one. Today was the morning. I didn’t have my camera, alas, and the light wasn’t good, either; this image is one I found online, just to give you a hint. It's always a wonderful event, like a benediction on the fall and a welcoming of the resting time of winter.

It's been nearly two months since my dissertation defense, and I'm only now beginning to feel normal again. Amazing, how exhausted I have been--that was completely unexpected by me, though no one else seems surprised. The good news is that I'm beginning to feel like writing again!

I made it!!!

Never thought I'd live to see the day, but I presented ("defended") my dissertation on Saturday out in Carpinteria, at the main campus, and the audience (my lovely friend Leah and a good part of Robert Romanyshyn's clinical program students) loved it!

I had such a good time with it. My nineteenth-century imaginal collaborator Ellen Janney introduced the work, then Robert introduced me (and said glowing things about it!), then I took over. That part took about half an hour, and then we had quite a lively discussion with lots of questions for another half an hour. It was such a blast!

This process has been exhilarating and exhausting. I've been asleep most of the time since I returned home on Sunday (when I wasn't calling a dance) and am headed back to bed now. When I wake up, I'll post more.

Thanks to all my friends who saw me through this process, and whose encouragement and support were so important to me. I love you all!

Well, it’s all over but the shouting….

The dissertation is written. It’s been approved by my committee pending a last-minute read-through by my advisor when he gets back in early August, and I’ll defend at the end of September. I’ve printed off a few copies and circulated them to interested friends—the response so far has been positive. It’s nice when something you care so passionately about is well received.

Once I get the i’s dotted and the t’s crossed, I can figure out what the next stage of my life will be like. It feels like major changes are in the works. One thing is for sure: I do want to turn this thing into a book, for wider circulation. But first, I’m digging my desk out from under piles and piles of books, papers, and accumulated junk. I don’t remember what the top of it looks like!

And I will have time to post things here, too, which will be fun. Gee—a life! I had forgotten what that’s like!